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[Apr. 8th, 2008|02:00 pm] |
You guys, I... I have a confession to make. And I don't really know how to say it, so I'm just gonna come out with it and... well.
I think I have a crush on Anderson Cooper. The CNN guy. (Yes, I watch CNN sometimes! I'm a college student... again. We're the hip and informed demographic, don'tcha know.)
I know, I know, he's like forty, which in a creepy way kind of makes both of us cradle snatchers. And also I'm pretty sure he's gay. It's just... he's got the sexy silver hair thing going, and sometimes when he does reports from Africa and stuff he wears these tight black T-shirts... I just want to throw him down on that high-tech anchor desk of his and, you know, have my way with him.
I'm sorry, I'm not sharing too much, am I? |
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[Apr. 6th, 2008|02:01 pm] |
"Dear Diary" - what's with that, anyway? I mean, you start out all nice and intimate with the "dear", and then you don't even have the common decency to ask for a name? I sure wouldn't get the warm and fuzzies if somebody wrote me a letter and addressed it to "Dear Person". And let's face it, if you're gonna be pouring your heart out to somebody, the least you can do is know their name first. So, what's your name, Diary?
Well, I guess since you're really just a projection of my thoughts, it should have some relevance to me. If that makes sense. I don't want to sound too egotistical. I do value your input, Diary. My Mom used to say if she hadn't called me Geraldine, she'd-a' called me Patrice. I know, thank God for small mercies, huh? Ooh, and there was a while in '66 when I was going by Daydream... Are you a boy-diary or a girl-diary, I guess, shoulda been my first question?
Maybe I oughta give you a unisex name, just to cover all my bases. Hm... Whitney? Taylor? Riley? Geez, why do all unisex names have to sound like they belong to those spoiled little Park Avenue toddlers? Oh, man... How about Chester? Chester! Good, solid, reliable... I hope you don't think I'm degrading you, I'm sure you can be a lot of fun, too. Okay, Chester it is.
Dear Chester...
Geez, y'know, I can't remember what I was gonna say any more. |
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